So this is it. Now you are in an airplane, on your way home, far away from London and far away from me. I can’t count how many hours I have spent imagining this moment. I’d guess a lot. It actually might be easier to guess how many hours I’ve spent not thinking about this.
When I moved to London in 2015, 21 and alone, I knew I would struggle to make friends. I thought I’d do okay meeting new people, but I couldn’t have predicted you. From the very first time we met in Caffe Nero at Southside, where I said hello and you replied “Are you Rachel?”, everything felt right. We became inseparable, people knew we were a package deal and were confused if they only saw one of us. You even met my boyfriend before I did (and I have the screenshots to prove it). I’d met my kiwi vegan nanny match, my other half.
As time went by, other things and people cropped up, but we always made time for each other. I couldn’t possibly list everything we’ve done together, but I know that the past two and half years have been the best of my life. Of course they have, I spent them with you.
We have both grown and there are so many things I wouldn’t, and couldn’t, have done without you. There is nobody I would rather take care of me when I’m hungry. I will always remember our incredible adventures, from the waterpark in Blackpool to the pedal boat on the canals of Amsterdam. From the cave in Bristol to the sandy shallows of Barcelona beach and everywhere in between.
We will still, always and forever, be best friends, but every time I think about the future my heart hurts. Knowing that you won’t be there for an emergency coffee chat. Knowing you won’t be there for catch ups with our friends and trying new vegan restaurants. Who else will come see The Vamps with me? My heart feels heavy when I realise you won’t be there for my next steps, and I won’t be there for yours. We won’t be able to see each other’s next flats, or meet up at the playground during work, or go to pop concerts and have a good time.
As you make your way onto your next adventure, just know that I’m always cheering you on. You deserve every good thing that comes your way and I’m so excited to see what happens next.
To my dearest, darlingest Deedo. I will miss you and London will never be the same.
All my love,
PS: If my heart was paper, I’d fold it…